9 property marketing terms (and what they actually mean)

Selling property via brochures and a 200 word entry is tricky business. There’s just too little space to explain away defects and problems, so the solution is word play. For example: a room too small to be used as a pet’s coffin is not “tiny”, but “cosy”.  A cracked wall is no longer a “structural defect”, but a “well ventilated room.” See how it’s done? Now here’s a list of common property marketing terms, and what they may actually mean:

• Within walking distance

The most subjective and easily abused property marketing term in property brochures. Within whose walking distance? A 21 year old who works out seven days a week, and swallows muscle supplements the size of soccer balls, is going to consider three blocks and an overhead bridge as “a short walk.”

Buyers who are not in similar shape had better check themselves. Because we’ll tell you one thing for sure: if the MRT station is right next to the property, the brochure won’t say “within walking distance,” it will say “Next to XYZ MRT station.”

“Walking distance” tends to come from the most optimistic possible view of your health.

• Selling out fast

This one hasn’t been seen recently, because the market is in a slump and no one would believe it. But when the property market builds up again (it’s just a matter of time), it will come back in use.

“Selling out fast” is a disguised way of saying “everyone is doing it, so you better do it too.” Preferably, you’ll be too pressured at the time to realise how a terrible an idea that is.

This is a meaningless utterance that reflects on nothing about the property, and exists solely to make you sign the Option to Purchase faster.

• River / Lake view

Singaporean property marketers have a serious deficiency. They cannot distinguish between bodies of water. Point at a puddle on the pavement, and they will ponder if the unit has a river or lake view.

A drain or canal is not a river. And a tiny pond, in a landscaped area barely visible from the flat, is not a lake. Neither are scenic “views”, unless the viewer is extremely imaginative or squinting. Furthermore, the brochure often makes it sound as if the entire development benefits from such a “view”, whereas in reality some of the units have a splendid view of nothing more than the communal dump.

Ignore this particular boast until you are looking out the window yourself.

• Smart home

Seriously, no one is sure what a smart home actually means. Most of the time, it refers to some kind of app – a way to turn your lights on and off by using your smartphone, or to allow the lift up to your floor via your computer. That’s it.

• Oasis

Where are we, the Mojave Desert? Why would an oasis impress us? We live on a tropical island literally surrounded by water. Of all the geographical features you could imagine, an oasis is the one least likely to impress Singaporeans. Nonetheless, property developers keep thinking “urban oasis” is somehow a powerful image.

Most of the time, it just means the condo is in a quiet area (read: too far from the MRT station or major roads, so they had to think of something clever to say.)

• Prime site

Prime means “primary” or “first” (e.g. En-bloc proposals are a prime cause of fistfights.) But not in property brochures, wherein this property marketing term has  has three possible meanings:

1. No meaning whatsoever – the copywriter decided “prime site” sounded fancier than “good site.”
2. Ready your wallet – the brochure is bracing you to see the high price of a luxury property. This is often phrased as “prime property” or “prime unit.”
3. The developer wants to use accessibility as the selling point. It may not be in a central district and the facilities may not be fancy – but if there is a bus and MRT right outside, you will often see the term “prime site.”

• Rental potential

As meaningless as it is accurate. Every property could potentially find a talent, in the same way you are potentially the winner of every lottery.

This phrase often means the developer wants to target investors, more than owner-occupiers. For example, they may be selling 400 square metre shoebox flats that are great for renting out to single expats (and would be terrible for family homes.)

• Double volume living space

Imagine a two storey house. Now, imagine if you remove the second floor, without changing the dimensions. There would now be a greater height between the floor and the ceiling, which lets in more light and makes the place look bigger.

We’re not sure where the “living space” comes in, unless you’ve found a way to do things in mid-air. But your ceiling will be high.

• Near good / elite / top educational institutions

Because when evaluating educational standards, the property marketing team are clearly the experts we turn to.  They get to decide whether a nearby institution is a top, good, or elite school (spoiler: everything near their development is on par with Harvard.)

They can’t fully be blamed for this – some parents are kiasu enough to pick a known “elite” school, to improve their child’s odds of enrolment. But considering the Ministry of Education (MoE) is fighting hard to get rid of these prejudices, you’d think property marketers would stop capitalising on it.

If you found this article helpful, 99.co recommends 9 must-ask questions at a condo new launch in Singapore and 7 things Singaporean homeowners wish they knew before buying property.

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